Alice Cooper August 7

Oh, yeah, he's back and coming to the pageant. Unfortunately, he has a new album coming out. See, here's how an Alice show works: If he has a new album out, he feels beholden to play at least 5-6 new songs, which just don't ever seem to be any good. There are few newer songs that have made it into his sets past the "new album tour", the exception being "Lost in America" from 1994's "The Last Temptation". Here's the problem with any Alice disc in the past 15 years (has it been that long? Ah, jeez, I still love you man, but that's a long time...): they are generically heavy, and mediocre, with not a lot of sense of humor and finesse. The Alice that I love, the one reflected in his hits like School's Out, No More Mr. Nice Guy, Elected, Under My Wheels, Be My Lover, etc. always had a fun aspect, and a quick wit. Then all of a sudden we were subjected to Brutal Planet, Hey Stoopid, and I can't go on. I have bought each album, hoping that this one would be a "return to form". Well, you know how that goes. Yes, I will buy the new one. I'll let you know how it is, and I hope to be pleasantly surprised/shocked that it is good. And I will be there, because even with the new songs, he is a great showman.

Pick up ANY of his older albums and you will be in for a treat. I recommend "Welcome To My Nightmare", "Killer" and "Love it to Death".

To be fair to Alice, he did have some good songs on "Dirty Diamonds", released in 2005. They weren't brutal metal, and had a sense of humor: Perfect & The Saga of Jesse Jane. Here are some lyrics for Jesse Jane:

I'm in jail in a texas town

in my sister's wedding gown

I drive a truck all night long

listening to Judy Garland songs

Now I'm locked behind bars of steel

I was just looking for a happy meal

I park my rig and went inside

They've never seen such a lovely bride

Jesse Jane, are you insane?

Or are you just a normal guy

Who dresses like a butterfly

Jesse Jane

And it goes on from there, with Alice eventually pulling a pistol from his Wonderbra, killing them all dead...

Will he get it back on track with the new album? Man. I hope so.